


time stops when i love you

by confusednp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Birthday, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Warsaw, dan’s birthday fic, poland - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confusednp/pseuds/confusednp
Summary: “But sometimes he needed this. To be reminded that he was loved, wanted, cherished, meaningful.”Or, Dan’s birthday fic.





	time stops when i love you

Dan woke to the Poland sun streaming through the windows and onto the bed he and Phil shared on the tour bus.

He curled his toes and stretched his arms, and partway through a yawn, remembered that it was his birthday. 

Time.

Lately it seemed to move too quickly for him, ending their UK tour earlier than seemed possible, and waltzing him around Europe with scarcely a moment to breathe. And now he was another year older, a fact which had crept up on him, as he’d seemingly forgotten it. What else had he missed in the rush of tour planning? Weren’t these the so-called ‘best years of his life’? An entire year, his mind kept reminding him.

Dan tried to think about other things, about his lines in the show, and Skyrim, and the excellent night he and Phil had had yesterday. He wasn’t about to let himself fall back into that spiral of freaking out about wasting his life again. 

He was distracted by movement. Using his weird Phil-senses, the man next to him seemed to know that Dan was falling into that place without even being awake, and stirred. His sleep-rumpled quiff poked out to meet Dan first, then his half closed eyes. 

“Morning,” Dan whispered. Phil sat up, put his glasses on, and laid back down. At Dan’s questioning look, he smiled.

“I wanna see you like this.”

Dan sighed and burrowed further into the warmth of the covers. “Sap.” 

Phil just kept looking at him like he was all the stars in the sky.

“Twenty seven huh?” Phil wrapped an arm around Dan and pulled him closer in their bed.

Dan smiled softly despite the early hour, speaking in a sleep roughened voice. “Hideous, isn’t it?”

Phil ran a hand through Dan’s hair and hummed. “I’d say differently.”

“You always do.” Dan scooted closer to Phil. “You always have. Remember my hair in 2011?” 

“You know I’ve always thought you were gorgeous.”

“Terrible idea, really. Best to drop my ass now before I get old.”

Phil shook his head. “Twenty seven isn’t old. It’s… it’s… sprightly.”

“Oh my god. My one birthday wish is for you to never call me ‘sprightly’ again.”

Privately, Dan wondered how they kept this working. How he was still as in love with the man beside him as he was nine years ago, maybe more so. Who found their forever partner at eighteen? All the things Dan could rely on were against them here. Data, statistics, common sense, nothing seemed to show them still ending up together, in this bed, this morning. He was so grateful for the man beside him, who always loved him as if he’d gotten off the train at Manchester Piccadilly that day. 

He wouldn’t say this to Phil out loud. He never did. These thoughts were his to hold onto. Instead, he whispered, “Love you,” out into soft light of early morning, and fit his mouth against Phil’s. It was slow, and deep, and said all the things they couldn’t when they were on a small tour bus surrounded by people. 

Phil kissed like he spoke, vibrantly, always reminding Dan that he loved him. And when he put  
a hand on Dan’s chest and rolled on top of him, well, any plans they’d had for that morning didn’t seem so important anymore.

———————

That night, they were scheduled for a hotel. They had two shows in Warsaw, and nobody wanted to stay on the bus for longer than they needed to. Evening found them scanning the Polish channels their room offered for something with subtitles.

‘Tea?”

Dan nodded gratefully. “Please.”

Accepting the mug Phil handed him, he reached for the remote. “What’re we watching tonight?”

“Your decision, birthday boy.”

“Not quite Netflix, but I found The Lorax with English subtitles.”

Phil took a sip from Dan’s cup. “Let’s do it.”

Dan tilted his chin up at Phil. “I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And the trees say give me my fucking drink back.”

Phil gave him a cheeky smile. “Only because you’re an old man now.” He placed the mug on the side table.

Dan groaned and let himself slide even lower on the couch. “Don’t remind me.”

“Hey.” Phil pulled him in. “You’re not old. Even if you are, you’re still handsome.” He dropped a kiss onto Dan’s forehead. “Funny.” Another kiss, this one on his nose. “Hot.” A brush of lips against the shell of his ear. “And able to do anything.”

This time, Phil landed where Dan really wanted him to. His lips were as warm as ever as he held Dan the way he had ever since the beginning. Surrounding him, always ready to protect him from the outside. It had been a while since he’d needed a protector, Dan realized.

But sometimes he needed this. To be reminded that he was loved, wanted, cherished, meaningful. 

That there was somebody out there in this big, dark world who would listen to Polish people narrate The Lorax as they held him and whispered encouragement into the dark.

Phil was still talking, Dan realized.

“And you’ve done so much with your life. You’ve made millions of people smile. You’ve raised awareness for mental health. In twenty seven years.”

The stinging pain, the hot pressure of tears was here. “I love you.” Dan’s voice cracked. “So much. How is it fucking possible that you exist?”

Phil’s expression quickly morphed into one of concern. “You okay? Like, really okay?”

Dan nodded quickly. Phil had to understand that he wasn’t crying because he was upset. He had to let him know that it was because he was grateful, nostalgic, at peace, passionate, anything but sad. 

“I’m just lucky to get to love you every day.”

Phil swiped a finger across Dan’s cheek to wipe away the tears. “I love you at any age. Anytime, any mood, anywhere.”

Dan wouldn’t say it out loud to anyone, but time stopped when he loved Phil. Minutes didn’t count when it felt like you’d loved somebody since the world began.

——————-

“Dan?”

“Phil?”

“I’m proud of you.”

——————-

“Phil?”

“Dan?”

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a little more personal than what I’ve written before, and I don’t know how I feel about it. There’s more insecurity and vulnerability, but life is an insecure, vulnerable place. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes ever.
> 
> “Why is to hurt to be human? To be human is to love with all we have.”
> 
> My tumblr is @confusednp


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